Committed Lover

Well, long time, no see, blog!

Yes, it's been ages. Haha, but at last I've remembered that I HAVE a blog! Today has been blessed. A renewed spark and hunger for really living into the Christian life has risen up in me. And I'm thrilled. Not a "I-feel-so-emotionally-driven-to-pursue-God" type feeling, but a "LIFE with Him is so WORTH IT" type motivation. If I don't strive to live for Christ and according to His ways, I'm not living. I'm walking without purpose, without power. The average, ordinary, every-day life is meant to be dynamic when we LIVE according to Christ, empowered by the REAL and ACTIVE Holy Spirit, and with our eyes focused on pleasing our loving Father.

I began listening to Francis Chan's Forgotten God, a book on the Holy Spirit in the Christian life today. It really spoke to me. How often do I live the Christian life in my head, packed with knowledge and good intentions? But the pursuit and intended life as a believer is intended to be put into action. Always. It is daily committment, living out Truth and the depths of Scriptures. My new life in Christ should look vastly different than my old life, lived apart from Him. Does my life today look differently than one who does not know or love the Lord? If not, we have a serious problem.

We are aliens in the world, foreigners, as earth is not our eternal home. Scripture says that we are not citizens of this world, but of heaven, living into greater purpose than our average 80 years (or how many is average) on earth. Do we really believe, then, that our life has greater purpose than personal pleasure? Success? The world's approval? Etc? Why, then, are we so quick to live like "it's all over anyway" when we die? If we look through the lens of the Lord, we realize that so much of what the world considers valuable is temporary. Stuff rusts, breaks, gets lost. Even something more abstract, like fame. It's so fickle.

So let's consider, what IS important? What lasts? What is worth our time, effort, and energy? Wouldn't it be reasonable to think that if life DOES last forever (you either spend eternity after you die with God [heaven] or without God [hell]), which life would you like to work toward: the life that lives with a vision of what is beyond just our earthly time (literally, our brains have such a tough time with this concept, but, it's real) or the life that lasts 80 years out of infinity (80/100000000000000000...)? Hm, the question seems to answer itself.

Am I saying our lives on earth have no purpose? Absolutely not. I'm saying quite the opposite. Our lives on earth have more purpose than we often realize. And that's the kicker. Our purpose isn't just to get by, to do well, and to feel good most of the time. The question is, do you believe your life has purpose? And if you do, are you living like it? Do you find your purpose within the Truth? Or do you clumsily stumble outside of it, finding "life" elsewhere? It's easy to do. That's why I ask. Where is your focus? Your heart and mind reflect who and what you're living for.

Bam-de-bam, what I'm saying is, I want to know God in this life and fall madly in love with Him, consumed and devoted, no matter how I "feel," because my love for him-not just passionate love, but COMMITTED love-has taught me that He has become eternal devotion.

Once upon a time I took a Psychology class. One thing has always stuck in my brain: with humans, there's passionate love and committment love. Passionate love is what attracts you to someone and the gushy feelings that you have. Your thoughts are consumed by that "special someone" and you can't help it! You smile and blush when someone says their name. You feel like you could love them forever. A lot of passionate love is based on feelings. However, this type of love is not long-lasting. You decide to remain devoted or go find another "new" someone who can give you the same sensation. However, the reality is that this passionate love can become a decision to remain committed because you have grown to know and have chosen to be devoted to him or her, not because you always feel like loving, not because you still blush when someone mentions his or her name, but because you have grown to know your loved one and have decided to be at his or her side through thick and thin, being a servant, and living to bring him or her utmost pleasure.

THIS, my friends, is the picture we often see with God. So often we fall into so-so passionate love and fail to truly live committed. We don't feel like loving God, so we don't. We don't feel like pursuing Him and showing our devotion when our gushy sensations are gone. Are we committed? Or are we emotional? Devotion and emotion aren't the same. They can coincide, certainly, but a committed life for God does not depend on if our human emotions match up to the Truth and our decision to follow Him.

Are you a passionate lover? Embrace the glorious romance! But are you committed to Him? Essential. Remain in Him, for that is life.

[Galatians 5:22, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."]

Hola de Buenos Aires

Hello, mi familia y mis amigos!

Going on day four here in Buenos Aires! I LOVE THE WEATHER. About 80 degrees during the day, mid 60s in the evening, I would guess. Wonderful. Yesterday was really neat: we went on a walking tour through the Plaza de San Martin and Avenido Florida; the plazas are BEAUTIFUL-lots of trees, flowers and GREEN grass (there´s not mounds of snow covering the life down here haha). The people are incredibly kind and never bashful to say hello to complete strangers. With a mango and pomegranate smoothie in hand, I watched tango and capuera performed in the streets. THAT was definitely my favorite part of the day.

I´ve been placed in Advanced Spanish II (it´s level two here) and will begin registering for classes tomorrow. WOW! I´m hoping to take a class in the arts school here; how amazing would it be to learn tango or voice with the local portenos here? You´re correct, it´d be REALLY amazing. I´ll be taking a Spanish grammar and Spanish conversation class, too.

Being away from my Christian community back home has made me realize, yet again, the importance and value behind it. This is the first time I´m living in a world that is, well, more like the world. Not everyone lives in Holland, Michigan where God and His goodness is passionately discussed in conversation. So here´s my challenge: grow and flourish in the Christian community that you are blessed to be a part of; receive the outpour of support that you are privileged to receive and then go & pour His love and wisdom. Kapeesh? Kapeesh. God has blessed us so we can be a blessing. AWESOME.

P.S. I don´t have internet access in my house. Or a charger that works. SO my posts will likely be brief! And not incredibly poetic haha. But they´ll keep you posted. BAHAHA, good one, Jennie!

Please Pray

Hello again! Welp, I leave tomorrow. I repeat, tomorrow! If I may, I have a couple prayer requests to send your way. I've learned that this "leaving" process is a bit more emotional and overwhelming than I had been anticipating. It's a fairly big trip (in the grand scheme of life, no. but in the baby scheme of life, yes. ha.), BUT I would REALLY appreciate prayer.

Here we go:
1. Emotional stability, ESPECIALLY in the airport. I've said a fair amount of "goodbyes" (or, as I prefer, "see you soons.") BUT the physical separation from one place to the next will truly toy with my emotions just a bit more :) PLEASE pray for that. I will be driving to the airport around 9:15AM and will board the plane at 12:03PM. Bah!

THEN I have 15 hours of plane time. WOWZERS.

2. That God would take all my anxiety. Once we step off the plane, we follow a "Language Contract" where we commit to NOT speak in English again. Sheesh, crazy. AND the day after I arrive, I will meet my host family. Pray for that, too. Also, I'm going alone. Pray that I'll be comforted by and insanely aware of His presence. Like, insanely aware. Haha.

3. Confidence in God and the ability to look forward with excitement in the present moment. It's really easy to think of what you're leaving, but I pray that God will push me (gently) to embrace all that is. And that He'll take away my fears. All of 'em. I don't want 'em.

4. That He'll continue to bless my family and friends back home. And that they'll continue to bless me as they are led. That'd be swell, too.

There you have it! Right now, I'm tired, I'm emotional, and I'm ready to get on that plane.
I just need Him to hold my hand.

Faithful

1 Corinthians 1:9 says, "God, who has called you into fellowship with his son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."

[Wednesday, February 23, 2011, at 12:03PM, I'll step on the plane!]

God. Is. So. Faithful. In the past couple days I have seen the Lord move in marvelous ways! I am in awe of His divine provision. Let me catch you up on what He's been up to, kapeesh? Kapeesh.

1. I got a letter from my host family! All in Spanish and yes, I could read it! There is hope! Haha. I have four siblings (YAYAY!):

Tomas is 21 and is very outgoing. He has lots of friends that often come to visit, so my host mom says that I'll have lots of friends my age around me. BLESSING!

Dolores is 17 and is going to college in the fall. She is a bit shy, she likes to study and enjoys pilates. So pumped to meet her.

Santiago is 15 and is a highschool student. He doesn't like to study, but he loves to cook and hopes to be a chef when he's older! I'm going to return to los Estados Unidos with top-knotch cooking skills, thanks to mi hermano Santiago!

Joaco is only 4 and the whole family loves to spoil him. I cannot wait!

Mariana is my host mom and she seems positively delightful. She loves music, as do I, and she is taking dance classes. She hopes to teach me when I arrive! Dream come true. Mariana assured me that she will show me around the entire neighborhood so that I will know it well. "No te preocupes," she said ["Don't worry"], she'll be sure to help me out. Thank you, God! The father is Alejandro and I look forward to meeting him, too.

God is so kind. I asked for all these things and He has provided in abundance!

2. A bundle of believers recently partnered with God to create a benefit concert fundraiser for our friend Sarah's Youth With A Mission experience. Over a period of three hours on Friday, the Lord brought in $2000! WOW. Faithful? I'd say so.

3. Joshua 1:9. The Lord has planted this verse in my heart and mind over and over again. It says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Leaving those you love isn't easy, even if only for five months. In fact, it's really hard. BUT the Lord has affirmed that He is the Maintainer and Sustainer of all things, relationships included. I expect Him to blow my mind with His faithfulness again and again, as He always has. And I am excited for Him to equip me with godly strength and courage to enter Argentina. The Lord is Sovereign; He is the God of each season and is pleased by those who run after Him with full confidence in each one. I am thrilled to walk hand-in-hand with God, bringing His love to the world. What a team we'll make!

4. Check out this song, if you have the chance. It's called "Today is the Day" by Lincoln Brewster.

I'm casting my cares behind

I'm leaving my past behind

I'm setting my heart and mind on You, Jesus

I'm casting my fears aside

I'm leaving my doubts behind

I'm giving my hopes and dreams to You, Jesus

I'm reaching my hands to Yours

Believing there's so much more

Believing all You have in store for me is good

Is good

Today is the day You have made

I will rejoice and be glad in it

I won't worry about tomorrow

I'm trusting in what You say

Today is the day

I will stand upon Your truth

All my days I'll live for You

And I won't worry about tomorrow

I'm giving You my fears and sorrows

Where You lead me I will follow

I'm trusting in what You say

Today is the day

That is my prayer. Full force for the Kingdom.

Today I Broke Mom's Car

Welp, today I broke Mom's car. SHOOT. Here's what happened: I was backing out of the driveway, engulfed by 5000-foot walls of frozen snow on either side (maybe an exaggeration); I turned my car to direct myself out of the driveway, into the street. I turned slowly, yes, but my car's nose kindly scraped the ice wall to its left and tore off chunks from the bumper. Poor Lassie, the beloved Nissan Altima.

When incidents such as this occur in my life, my body would like to explode from the inside. At times, this explosion works its way to my mouth and words such as, "WHO BREAKS THEIR CAR IN THE DRIVEWAY?!" come out. It's interesting.

All of this happened before 11AM. POOP. Really, who does break their car in the driveway?

Mom was sitting in the passenger seat as I drove to the gas station five minutes down the road. Lassie's bumper and gas tank are unhappy with me now; the tank is extremely hungry, reading below E.

Opening the car door slowly, Mom places her credit card in my hands. Huh?

"Fill her up," she says.

Obviously, I don't deserve her money; especially not right now. "I just broke your car, why would you give me your money right now?" I say, bewildered and overwhelmed.

"It's a gift," she says simply.

Speechless and undeserving of her kindness after my flawed performance, I grab her card and drag myself out of the car and stare the pump in the face. This isn't fair, I think.

Next, we stop at Penzoil on the drive home; I've been neglecting to get an oil change for months. Guess who pays for my oil change? Ding ding ding! My mother! What a ridiculous deal, I think: I break her car, she pays for my gas and oil change. Hm. That is bizarre. And I certainly did not earn such kindness. Not even a little bit.

As I drove home, I was slapped in the face by God. He offered me a tidbit of insight into this unfortunate circumstance.

GRACE.

GRACE.

GRACE.

Breaking Lassie taught me grace. There were no guilt trips involved when I bashed Lassie against ice walls. And yes, I messed Lassie up--the car that wasn't even my own. But instead of condemnation, I received abundant grace. I was given the freedom to move forward, learning from my silly, human error and "beginning again" through forgiveness. Was I forgiven because my mistake was reasonable? NO. My mistake was DUMB. But I was forgiven anyway, and instantly. I wasn't meant to dwell in my stupidity.

Forgiven out of grace, unconditional love and offered freedom. Hm, doesn't that sound a bit like God, Jennie? I make countless dumb, human mistakes daily, some repeatedly. Grace seems unfair, like Mom plopping her credit card in my hands, saying, "It's okay, now let me love you as we move forward together." Because of Christ's kindness on Calvary, we are left speechless and beautifully overwhelmed--His grace isn't deserved and it's certainly not earned. That's what makes grace, well, grace.

I have learned to be extra cautious around icy walls of snow. And hopefully, I'll back out of the driveway better next time.

God has chosen me and my silly, error-filled self. Guess what else? He still loves me, just the same. What a God I serve!

Baselines and Glass Bottles

Sports. I love them! Softball began at age four, basketball in fifth grade, volleyball in seventh, and soccer was thoroughly enjoyed from age five through the sixth grade. At times, I'd run for kicks n' giggles and I even tried some karate when I was young--right after my debut in Tumbling Tots! Needless to say, it's a part of me: sports have contributed to me becoming, well, me.

As a result, certain words resonate deeply within my being. Words like "conditioning." Ew. It ignites both fear and excitement within me and reminds me of the three worst words in the English language, yelled by my stern-faced coach: "On the line!" he bellows, hands on his hips. On the line. A tingling sensation begins in my toes and slowly works it's way up through my body as I align my foot to the edge of the baseline, behind the hoop. This is the portion of practice we dread; we look to sprints with an almost holy reverence.

God is taking me through spiritual conditioning, pushing me through spiritual exercises to tone and develop areas of myself that must be stronger, or developed at all. He is showing me muscles that I didn't know (or forgot) existed [Like when you play softball for the first time in months. Ouch!].

God is my life coach and, at times, my stern-faced man with his hands on his hips, blowing the whistle, declaring, "On the line!" I have the privilege of learning from the Best and, as a result, coming out stronger, and more refined. Wiser. Bolder. And with holy reverence I can approach the baseline, confident that it is good that I am challenged; it is not for my destruction. Sprints in the gym never hindered our performance on the court; they pushed us past our limits and allowed us to work beyond our perceptions of "the impossible." The same is true for me now, in my spiritual walk with my Coach.

But I have to stand on the baseline when he commands. I have to sprint when he blows the whistle. And sometimes, I have to experience discomfort in order to reap the benefits of learning beneath the Wing of the One who knows, who has the foresight to see the significance of the long stretch of sprints. He delights in my willing spirit to "stand on the baseline" and run hard for godly refining.

If you're anything like me, you might be experiencing refinement right now. You probably have moments where your new realizations (or reminders) cause you to stop and wonder why you've wasted time getting it wrong. Perhaps you are tempted to feel guilty about instructions that are so straight forward in the Bible--and, yes, you've always known them--but for the first time, they smack you in the face! DON'T FEEL GUILTY. Guilt is never of God; but conviction is. How many times did Christ have to say to his disciples, "Wow, you still don't get it?" Yet simultaneously, with compassionate eyes and abounding in grace, he says, "But man oh man, do I ever love you. I will teach you again."

Consider this: You hold an empty Jones Soda bottle in your hands and walk down a beach that is lined with hundreds of broken, colorful pieces of glass. You collect your favorite pieces and fill the bottle to the brim. You walk for miles, admiring your Jones Soda bottle that glimmers in the sunlight. However, as you continue walking, you notice cooler, more beautiful pieces of glass, that you'd prefer to have in your Jones Soda bottle. But there's no room for them. In order to have the most beautiful pieces of glass in the bottle, you must remove the good pieces and replace them with the best pieces. The old pieces weren't bad, they just weren't as awesome as they could be--but it takes time and effort to remove the old pieces. You may even cut your fingers on its sharp edges. But the final result is flabberghasting. It is awe-inspiring. It is worthy of the effort.

So stand on the baseline. Listen to our Coach. Ask that you may walk by the Spirit today, not by the flesh. And be filled with only the best, most brilliant glass on the beach.

Check out 2 Corinthians 5:17, James 1: 2-5, Philippians 1: 4-6

Great are the works of the Lord;

they are pondered by all who delight in them.

Glorious and majestic are his deeds,

and his righteousness endures forever.

Psalm 111:2-3